I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
