If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
