I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize