dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He has the fingertips of a God
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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