before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
