I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
