So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
