you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
