i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
