Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
