I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
