I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
