I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
