She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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