It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
