You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
