You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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