Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
