He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
