Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
