Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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