these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
