Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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