you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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