eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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