It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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