just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
