Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
