im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This toilet bowl is my home.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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