Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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