dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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