Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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