people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
