I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
