All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize