hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
