Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
