A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
