Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
