I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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