yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
