Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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