how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize