Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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