so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
