Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
