I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
