i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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