yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
