using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
