We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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