He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
