There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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