So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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