so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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