I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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