just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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