i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
