i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
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You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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