I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
