He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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