someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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