I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
