So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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