I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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